Writing Excuses Retreat 2017 – On a Ship, Take 3, Part the First

Last week my wife, her mother, and I returned from a two week tour of Europe, visiting six countries, castles galore, old friends and new, listening to some great authors teach and read to us. It was a business trip, really. Most of it. Some of it. The parts where I was writing…

We were participating for the third time in the 2017 Writing Excuses Writing Workshop and Retreat, and I did indeed get lots of writing done, or rather lots of editing. Because being the person I am, I was busy editing beta reader feedback on the first full Dissolutionverse novel, The Seeds of Dissolution, now on Kickstarter!

But aside from when I was holed up in my room or head down at a bar on the cruise ship, I was talking with friends from last year’s cruise, or making new ones, or listening to lectures on anxiety and writing, how to get that last 5% of awesome, how to worldbuild, how to write fight scenes, how to work with a translator, and more…

We had an excellent lineup of instructors, as usual, including:

John Berlyne, Zeno Agency

K. Tempest Bradford, writer and teacher at Writing the Other

Wesley Chu, Author

Aliette de Bodard, Author

Piper J. Drake, Author

Jasper Fforde, Author

Thomas Olde Heuvelt, Author

Kathy Chung, Author and conference coordinator for the Surrey International Writer’s Conference

Mary Robinette Kowal, Author, Audiobook narrator, Puppeteer, host of Writing Excuses

Ken Liu, Author and Translator

Emma Newman, Author and host of Tea and Jeopardy

Peter Newman, Author and co-writer for Tea and Jeopardy

Howard Tayler, Author, Schlock Mercenary webcomic, and host of Writing Excuses

Sandra Tayler, Author, business manager for Schlock Mercenary

His Majesty Dan Wells, Author, host of Writing Excuses

The Short Summary:

1. Waiting for seven hours in the Paris airport is not fun.

2. Having the day before the cruise to meet everyone is super helpful.

3. MSC cruises doesn’t serve tap water in the dining room?!

4. Every tour in Copenhagen goes past The Little Mermaid. Also, Walt Disney got inspiration from the Tivoli gardens amusement park. The Christiansborg palace has very….interesting…tapestries.

5. Mary Robinette Kowal gave us great tips on how to read/speak to a group of people (hint: talk to the windows!).

6. I got personalized feedback on a query letter directly from an agent (three times!) I’m excited to send this version out.

7. Stockholm has hot chocolate as big as your face! And Swedish fish (though they probably just call them “fish” there…). It also has a room covered in gold.

8. Tallin, Estonia loves WiFi, started Skype, and may have captured Voldemort in a wall.

9. Played Fiasco! For the first time (as a drunk, layabout, child stealing town idiot), and it was awesome.

The Long Summary, with pictures!

Friday

I’ll save you the description of the overseas flight, waiting in the Charles de Gaulle with a 7 hour layover, flying to Hamburg (late), and then an hour and a half bus ride to Kiel, the port city where the cruise ships depart. We only just made it to the last five minutes of the official orientation, after almost 24 hours of travel. Fortunately, this was our third year of the Writing Excuses cruise, so we pretty much knew what was going on. We got to meet briefly with friends from previous cruises, and got to see the fabulous Emma and Peter Newman interview Dan Wells for their podcast, Tea and Jeopardy. During the show, they were afflicted with only being able to say “Writing” and “Excuses” until the audience saved them. We then sampled treats from all sort of European (and North American) countries, which some of the attendees had brought to share. Then we crashed.

Saturday

The next morning, we gathered into groups to board the cruise ship. There was less security this time than last year. We were traveling with MSC instead of Royal Caribbean (more on that later…). Once on board, we broke up into groups to follow a story treasure hunt, getting clues for the next plot twist. We had the “Regency Romance” story thread. Oh Lord Covington; we thought him such a cad, but he redeemed himself! Ahem. We also got the chance to meet all the instructors and some of our fellow attendees while we wandered around.

Later, we attended our first class, Fear and Writing, once again by Emma Newman, who gave us some great tips for dealing with anxiety and still getting work done.

That night we had our first dust-up with MSC (there would be more), when we found out they wanted to charge us our limited drink coupons (meant for sodas, coffee, ect) for bottled water at dinner, because they will not serve tap water in the restaurant, even though it’s perfectly fine to drink. It is common in European countries to not pour water for dinner, as they do in the US, but restaurants will serve it when asked. Fortunately, the travel agents who organized our travel were able to work some magic and get water for us the rest of the cruise, so we wouldn’t get parched through the 2+ hour dinners!

That night we passed under a bridge connecting Denmark to Sweden, with only a few feet to spare!

(And…I seem to have only taken a few pictures on the ship. Sorry–you’ll have to imagine the interior! It wasn’t quite as luxurious as our ship last year, so, interpolate.)

Sunday

This was our first port of call, Copenhagen, where we found that every single tour goes by the statue of the Little Mermaid.

They also go by her big sister…

We also learned one of the breweries may have funded most of the royal construction. Then we visited Tivoli gardens, the second oldest amusement park still in operation. Walt Disney traveled there for inspiration, which if you’ve been to Disney, looks very similar.

We also found Grandpa Munster…

Last on the tour, we went to the Christiansborg Palace, which has some great architecture, and very…colorful…tapestries, which took ten years to produce.

(Pictures from the Danish Monarchy Website, because I didn’t get good pictures…)

We also got a cool map of the city, which I am using for inspiration for the front map in my book! I love the views of all the individual buildings.

Because the MSC cruise ship didn’t have a dedicated conference room (dust-up #2), a couple of the classes got over-scheduled with port time this year. Our tour took most of the day, which meant we missed the class with John Berlyne of Zeno Agency about what  an agent is for. Fortunately, there was plenty of time to catch up with him later, and I learned a lot talking to him.

We had a second class that day on Worldbuilding from the tiny details, or how to make your world seem real. Aliette de Bodard gave the class, showing us some great examples from decorating a room based on the culture, to what food would be eaten, to types of religion, body language, and expressions.

I got to play some games that night after dinner, including Splendor, one of my favorites.

Monday

This was a day a sea, but it was still packed. We started out with an early class with Mary Robinette Kowal on how to read out loud to groups of people. The common mistakes are:

Volume – If you speak to the windows of the room rather than the person next to you, then everyone can hear you.

Speed – You will speak too fast. A good speed for talking to a room is about 150 words a minute, which sounds really slow to the person speaking.

Droning – If you hear a similar sound for a while, you’ll tune it out. That’s why it’s important to give importance to words with special meaning. Tell a story!

I had my individual breakout session that day, also with John Berlyne, and we went over the query letter for my current novel out to agents. John had some great suggestions, and was nice enough to agree to look at it again, once I made some changes.

Later, Wesley Chu taught us about writing action scenes, like making sure they have multiple purposes, showing lasting effects from injuries, making sure someone isn’t trained, say, as a master swordsman, in an unrealistic amount of time *coughRandal’Thorcough*, having good blocking, using multiple senses to describe the action, and finally, making sure there isn’t too much action, or it gets boring!

Now that Mary prepared us to read out loud, some of us signed up for “Lightning readings” in which we would read for two minutes, or about 300 words. Here’s mine, which is a fight scene from later on in The Seeds of Dissolution.

You’ll have to imagine the part where I was reading out loud…

“I look forward to dancing against you,” Nakan said, sibilant. “This, I have long been waiting for, to show the Nether maji their weakness.”

Rilan flicked her eyes once more to Vethis, and then all her attention was on the newcomer. “So be it, Snake,” she said, trying to goad the Sathssn.

It didn’t work. She feinted forward with a wrist strike to his cloaked head, intending to follow up with a reverse punch augmented by her song. Neither strike landed. Arcs of sapphire blue and a dark, bruised purple, swirled around the Sathssn’s feet and he was out of her range. She moved again and he was behind her, slipping past in a waltz-step. A strike to her kidney staggered her and she grunted.

Rilan whirled, barely catching Nakan’s arm with her fingers before he could slip away. Shiv’s dagger, he’s fast. She added notes to the melody of her fingers, turning major chords to minor, fixing her fingers in claws, dragging herself along with the Sathssn.

He moved a step, then spun, tilting her off balance. She felt a knee buckle when he kicked, and turned piano to forte, strengthening the tendons.

Must get on the offensive.

No time for her mental tricks. This would all be physical, and she had to make changes to Nakan, not herself. She recognized some of his steps, had fought against them before.

“Has Zsaana taught you all his tricks?” she asked. Her fingers were still on his arm, giving her a connection, and she burrowed into his music, turning solid measures into trills, loosening his tendons in a flush of white and olive. Nakan stumbled, but his aura pulsed against hers, blue and purple against white and olive.

“Yes, old Zsaana, he was my teacher as he was yours,” Nakan said. “But he taught me far more than you.”

Annnnd…there was a ship announcement in the middle of my reading. *Sigh* that’s #3, MSC.

Later that night we had our Costume contest, where Heather and her mother were awarded “Best  Regency Mother and Daughter,” and modeled with Mary Robinette Kowal.

I modeled my spiffy new steampunk coat. Works for browncoats, and to model the cover of my novella!

(Old picture because I am bad at pictures…)

Tuesday

Stockholm! This was one of my favorite ports. We visited the Vasa museum first, where we found out how the ship was so over-decorated, tall, and heavy that it sunk about 20 minutes after first setting out!

We also saw where the Nobel prizes are given out, as well as the reception hall, where the architect scoured far and wide for the most comfortable stairs to walk on. We tried many out other stairs on our trip, and have to admit, these were the most comfortable. After that, we saw the Gold Room, where the Nobel Prize ceremony ball takes place.

Gustav says, WTF?

We also got some great lunch and shopped around for souvenirs. I got hot chocolate as big as my face and Swedish fish from Sweden! Lastly we saw the royal palace and went back to the ship.

Those are some sumptuous corridors…

Again, because our tour was pretty long, we missed hearing about Maintaining a Writer’s Life with Thomas Olde Heuvelt (#4, MSC!), but we got to hang out with him later and catch up on what he talked about.

Lastly, we had a martial arts hangout that night, on the top deck of the ship. I had a lot of fun, but it was the only time I got to practice while on the trip, so I was having withdrawal by the time we got back…

Wednesday

Tallin was a cool town to visit, in Estonia. I knew almost nothing about the country, but learned they have a big investment in WiFi, and were partially responsible for creating Skype. We first visited the Talinn Song Festival auditorium, where every five years, 15,000 performers come together to sing for the Lauluväljak.

We also saw the town, which included a restaurant that served only authentic medieval food, made from ingredients available at the time. I also got pictures of Voldemort and a Dementor!

Actually, the first is Voldemar Panso, who was the first director of the Drama School of Estonian Academy of Music and Theatre. The second is one of three sculptures of medieval monks in the Danish King’s garden.

That night, Ken Liu talked to us about how to work with a translator.

It was an amazing lecture, which illustrated just how much work a translator must go through to make a book readable in another culture. In the US, we don’t often don’t realize how much of an author the translator is, as we tend to consume our own media. In some other countries, books are bought not based on the original author name, but on the translator name, and some translators have even reinvented a mediocre book in one language into a bestseller into another! Ken also gave us some great tips about what information and assistance is best to offer a translator, if you have the chance to work with one.

That night I got to play Fiasco for the first time. It’s a game where four people set up a deteriorating situation doomed to failure, then watch the world burn! I got to play the town drunk, cousin to the mayor, who stole a baby, tried (and failed) to take over the town, drove an out of control, gold-filled wagon down a mountain, and finally ended up in a penal colony. Fun!

Stick Around!

Whew! That’s not even the half of it, but this ends part one of my European writing adventure, as this post is long enough already. Next week, come back for St. Petersburg and Pringles, queries and books covers, Not-So-Mad King Ludwig, and WorldCon75!

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#Stockholm #Estonia #Denmark #WorldCon #WritingExcuses #Translation #writingprocess #travel #writingretreat #Readingoutloud #Tivoligardens #Copenhagen #writinggroups

Writing Excuses Retreat 2016 – On a ship, take 2

My wife and I recently returned from our second time with the Writing Excuses podcasters, their guest instructors, and about 200 new and old friends aboard one of the largest cruise ships in the world. Yes, it was The 2016 Out of Excuses Writing Workshop and Retreat!

We were excited to board the ship this time, rather than nervous, as were were alumni and knew our friends would be there to greet us. It would have been even better had we been able to get on the boat the first time. They spelled my wife’s name wrong, twice, and then we ended up with our sea pass cards rejected until one of the attendants got it fixed.

How do you pronounce that?

So, we acted as a sort of pitiful welcome committee outside the ship, watching hordes of people board, and occasionally waving to someone we recognized from 2015.

The ship itself was much bigger than last year, to the point that it was a little too big to easily find others of our group when wandering around the ship.

It’s the one on the left.  Yes, that’s a ship, not an alien spacecraft.

On the other hand, the cocktail bar where we had all our parties was not as open as the one on last year’s ship, which made it harder to socialize in those situations. Fortunately, the internet package this year was more worth the cost (functional for modern internet browsing), and brought a new dimension to our interactions, finding late night pictures pop up on twitter as photographic proof the next morning. It was like getting to be a part of the many activities we missed last year. And there was definitely a lot going on this time.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Registration and orientation were first on Saturday, and rather than the silent and shy crowd we had last year, this year was marked with clumps of people renewing acquaintances, and welcoming new introverted writers into little gatherings. Plus, our few recognized “extroverts” were happy to help the process. I’m not saying everyone was instantly friends, but we got to spend a lot more time bonding and learning from each other.

At the orientation, the WX crew went over the rules and introduced the incredible lineup of instructors: Brandon Sanderson Mary Robinette Kowal Dan Wells Howard Tayler Kathy Chung Steven Barnes Tananarive Due Desiree Burch Claudia Gray Lynne M. Thomas Michael Damian Thomas DongWon Song Navah Wolfe K Tempest Bradford

There were 197 people in our group, including a lot more family than last year. Some alumni brought significant others that didn’t get to come last year. The podcasters also brought family. We got to meet Brandon and Emily’s oldest son, one of Dan and Dawn Well’s children—thankfully not the one who crashed a car at 12 years old while Dan was on the cruise last year(Sorry Dan)—and Howard and Sandra’s two daughters. Mary brought her parents. I had met her father at a signing before, and got a chance to talk with him again, as he recognized my hat (it’s a good hat).

Eventually, we all got settled in, and I have to take a moment to recognize something the podcasters did even better this year: diversity.

Last year this was a revelation for me, we were well represented on the LGBT front (though even better this year) but there was a certain lack of POC last year. This year, I was happy to see many more attending, including a good selection of our instructors. Plus, several classes helped us understand what POCs regularly encounter in society. Good for us as writers, and good for us who don’t identify as POC to realize personally.

That night we had our meet and greet cocktail. We also had our first dinner rotation (the students changed tables every night to sit with new people), and then the first hangout: free time where we can socialize, talk with instructors, play games, write, or whatever else struck our fancy.

Sunday, Nassau

• In the morning, we went to a dolphin meet and greet. Ours turned out to be horny and spent most of the time with the females, so we had to borrow another group’s dolphin. We played, petted, and watched them show off. Afterward, we waited until the boat came to pick us up, part of the group talking about books and martial arts, and brainstorming a story. • Our first class was The Pitch, with DongWon Song, an agent for Howard Morhaim Literary Agency. He first explained what agents were looking for in pitches, and the “comp,” or A+B=awesome (for example, The Fifth Season: Avatar meets The Day After). He called on a few of us to share our pitches for critique, and then made the mistake of opening the mike to all who wanted to try. I don’t think he expected the implosion of air as thirty students (me among them) ran to get feedback on their book pitches. • Next was my 30 minute breakout with Michael Damien Thomas, the Co-Publisher and Co-Editor of Uncanny Magazine. Everyone attending got either a breakout or a critique group with one of the instructors. I spent mine talking about how the Thomases run the kickstarter each year for their magazine, as I intend to run one next year for my next self-published book. I got a lot of great ideas! • Then we sat in on a Writing Excuses recording session, with the “video feed” they’re always talking about. Many of us (including me!) got our questions answered in the Q&A episode. • Dinner and hangouts again. I got to play an awesome game of Last Night on Earth with Dan Wells running the zombies. With all writers playing, the game develops a narrative of its own. Ed will always be our hero! Just don’t make him angry…

Monday, Day at Sea

• First up was The Business of Short Fiction Markets, with Lynn and Michael Thomas, the editors and publishers of Uncanny Magazine. They gave us a full rundown on how to submit to magazines and short story markets, and what the submission process looks like from the other side. • Outlining: it doesn’t have to hurt, with Claudia Grey. Claudia gave us a great explanationof many different outlining styles, and how to use them. • Then we had another Writing Excuses recording session. In the intermission, I got to know several other students better, and had some cool discussions on worldbuilding, magic systems, and martial arts.

• That evening several of us attended the wedding of two of the students. The organizers not only helped them plan, but Mary Robinette Kowal officiated! We had met the two on last year’s cruise and were honored to be able to attend Miko and Jessica’s wedding.

Tuesday, St Thomas

• Here, Heather and I went on our second animal interaction excursion—a meet and greet with two sea lions, Omar and Romulo. They were very sweet and the trainers did a great job of keeping them engaged and interacting with the guests,

until one attacked!

Not really—he was just doing some foreshadowing.

Each of us got a kiss from a sea lion, which they really like to do, and when Romulo was about to give Heather a kiss, the trainer gave some slightly crossed signals. Romulo got confused and frustrated, and bit Heather on the shoulder, but not very hard, and he was obviously very sorry afterward. Heather got a very long kiss and a sea lion sexy dance (which we unfortunately did not get a recording of), and we got a story to tell.

• The rest of the day was given over to writing, talking with other students, and another session of Writing Excuses recording. After dinner with some friends from last year, I had a great time hanging out with some other martial artist writers, showing off our different styles, including watching some awesome Capoeiristas play. After we all tired ourselves out, we spent another while talking about writing, martial arts, and engineering. Evidently they go together?

Wednesday, St Maartin

• Wednesday was at the island of Sint Maartin, or Saint-Martin, depending on whether you are on the Dutch or the French side. We took a tour bus around the island to see almost the whole circumference, spent a while browsing a market, bought a carved pelican statue, and came back.

(Not that one.) • Our only class this day was, So you sold your novel to a publisher. Now what? Navah Wolfe, an editor at Saga Press, gave us an excellent run-down on how editors get involved in a writer’s book once they buy it, often knowing the story and background almost as well as the author. They are the book’s biggest champion, and spend a lot of time making sure the release is a good as it can be. • Once again, we got to see Writing Excuses recording. 

They recorded the rest of the episodes for 2016 while we were on the cruise, sharing episodes with many of the excellent guest instructors as well.

Thursday, Day at Sea • This morning, Dan gave a private showing of I Am Not A Serial Killer, his first book, which has been made into a movie. It’s very well done and you should all go see it! • Our class this day was Personal Narrative, with Desiree Burch. Coming from a standup background, Desiree showed us how she digs into personal history to find subjects for her shows. She gave prompts and told us to answer them with the first thing that came to mind. I think we all found the answers eye opening and a little scary. Then she had us break into groups and give 30 second, 15 second, and one line descriptions of a time we were wronged. It was amazing to see so many introvert writers open up. We were all a little stunned, and closer to each other, after we finished. • I had an attendee-led critique group after that, which gave me some valuable feedback on my latest work. To give an idea of how the retreat has grown from year to year, on the 2015 cruise, we had one group for novels and one for short stories. This year, we had to break up into three groups for novels and one for short stories! • This was the formal night for the cruise, and also our chance to cosplay. We were at DongWon’s table, so we had a great discussion about the agenting process. In addition, it was also the wedding reception for Miko and Jessica. We had a great time parading across the ship and getting pictures with all the excellent costumes. Heather and I even won a medal for our costumes, which she made.

Friday, Day at Sea • Our last day started with choosing one of several Q&A classes. Heather and I chose Writing the Other, with Desiree Burch, Michael Thomas, and K Tempest Bradford. They answered some great questions about how to accurately depict race, sexuality, and disability when you as a writer are not familiar with it personally. • Next was Advanced Characterization: Writing Chars from the inside out, with Tananarive Due, who showed us how characters are built by finding their motivations and desires. This is especially helpful when creating a character that is not like yourself. • Our last class of the cruise was Sociobiology in Worldbuilding, with Steven Barnes, a very engaging speaker. Steven took us on a tour of history, culture, and how the world’s societies might have developed differently. He talked on several subjects dealing with his many years learning about martial arts, and how this ties in to inner peace. This lecture affected many of us on a personal level as well as helping us become better worldbuilders. • After a final Writing Excuses recording and Q&A session, Heather and I had our last dinner, at Brandon and his wife’s table. We got a chance to discuss everyone’s current project, and I got the chance to send Brandon copies of my novellas. • Then we had our final farewells and promises to keep in touch. With social media, it’s a lot easier than it used to be, but it was still a sad parting, coming back to the real world.

Overall thoughts, or Thanks For Staying This Long • I got a lot more writing done this year than I did last year – about 10000 words! • Coming home makes you really recognize what sea legs are, as you stumble around your stationary house like a drunkard. • Like last year, we came home with more contacts and more friends on Facebook and twitter. So many friends! The alumni are making their own little society, now we have a larger pool of members. • The Writing Excuses Retreat is the type of gathering that can go on query letters. It’s a big deal for writers, not only to make good friends, but to show that you mean business as a professional. • If you aren’t able to afford the cruise, consider looking at the scholarships. With such a large crowd of alumni, we’ve started attendee-funded scholarships, to pay it forward and help others come on the cruise. In 2016, we funded two new scholarships, and we’re hoping to do even more for 2017! • If you’re interested to go on this cruise (and if you are a serious writer, you really should), look to the Writing Excuses website for an announcement of next year’s cruise later this year. I won’t spoil anything, but it’s going to be a big one! • Finally, people say you have to have an “in” to publish. More likely, you have a person you’ve met, hung out with, and enjoy their company. And they also happen to be an agent, editor, or author. That’s what this retreat can give you.

Thanks for reading! Heather and I had an amazing time, and we are definitely planning on going back next year. The cruise is completely worth it, and many thanks are due to the Writing Excuses team.

For you writers out there, you’re out of excuses, now go book a cruise!

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Quantum Shorts

This is a flash fiction I wrote for the Quantum Shorts contest in 2o15. The challenge was to write something that had to do with a quantum phenomena. I wondered what happens when you put your quantum shorts on in a different manner...

The story didn't get picked, so I'm sharing it with you here!

Quantum Shorts

I put my shorts on right leg, then left.

I put my shorts on left leg, then right.

I left through the back door, taking a moment to pick a blooming amaranth and tuck it in my lapel. Every year, these tulips and amaranths bloomed on the same day. I never missed it.

I left through the front door of my house, locking it with both hands so they wouldn't shake. My palms were sweaty as I thought of the journey ahead of me.

The gate hinge emitted a sharp creak as I swung it open. I would have to oil it tonight when I got back.

The pavement was still wet from the rain last night. As a cab screeched to a halt at my signal, mud splashed against my bare legs.

I walked along the sidewalk and a passing car splashed a ring of mud onto the pavement in front of me with a splat. A few seconds earlier, and I would have been cleaning mud off my shoes.

The cab driver's dark hair was still slicked back and wet from a morning shower.

"Where to?" he asked. I hesitated only briefly, then gave him the address of the art gallery outside of town. I usually tried not to think of it, but today was not usual.

The walk to work was not long, and I stopped at Carl's coffee stand for my morning muffin and apple. It was a daily routine, but today the muffin tasted stale. The apple was mush. I glanced up to the third story of the building across from me, where the office's lights were still dark. I watched until my breakfast was gone, then turned the other direction.

We passed my office, traveling through the city center in the crisp morning light, and I saw my usual haunts flash by the open window. My home town was not large, and soon the smells of the city passed into the softer scents of the countryside. I heard snatches of birdsong as the car rumbled down the road. The driver hummed as he drove, but my muscles were tense. This was not my routine.

My home town was an island in the middle of cows and corn, but I liked the consistency, or so I thought. This day felt different than other years. The flower in my lapel still smelled sweet, giving me more nourishment than my muffin. I obeyed my wanderlust and let my feet steer my path. The office would have to do without me today.

As the road flashed by my window, my shoulders relaxed, my jaw loosened. This was the farthest I had been from my home in eight years--for as long as the other side of the bed had been empty. The change in scenery felt like a sunrise, and I opened the window to enjoy the breeze. But as the driver slowed and put his blinker on for the turn at the gallery, my shoulders began to tense again. This close, I found I didn't want to see the artwork without the one who created it. I leaned over the front seat.

"Just keep going for now. I'll tell you when to stop."

He shrugged and turned off the blinker.

I walked for hours, not caring about the office, or anything else. I found myself at places in the city where I had not been in years. Not since I had been a different person. When my phone began to pester me with requests, I turned it off. I didn't need it today. I could see a possibility I hadn't before, just over the horizon.

At the border of the state, the driver balked at going any farther, but I persuaded him with a ready supply of currency from my account. Just because I came from a little landlocked town didn't mean I was destitute. Something pulled me forward. The phone in my pocket chimed, but I silenced it. This day was the one that was different from the other years. This day was a change.

I oiled the gate that night. After a long day, my bed was like a pool of warm water, drawing me in. I rubbed bleary eyes and checked the lock on the front door before retiring. I hadn't left the house that way in eight years, but the feeling of something left open wouldn't depart my mind. Maybe tomorrow I would use the front door. The amaranth I placed in a vase of water, remembering. Back in my bedroom, I took off my shirt and shorts, left leg, then right, and crawled into my side of the bed, feeling the emptiness beside me.

After the taxi was long gone, I looked over the lake spread in front of me, my eyes stinging from the cold wind blowing in my face. Lights glittered behind me, and the cloudless sky was peppered with the first smattering of stars, like a canvas with the first lines of paint. There was a small boat at the harbor. Perhaps the owner could be persuaded to sell it to me. I wiped the spray off my shorts as I headed down to it, happier than I had been in a long time. An open door, a day off, a journey out of town. I wished I could tell the exact point I became this new person, and no longer the old one.